In 1961, Herman Cohen and American International Pictures made a film called Konga. Turns out it was not about the tiny, Swedish village but, instead, about a giant ape. This disappointed many people. Despite this, it was a big hit and Charlton made a comic book out of it. It ran for 23 issues and had some of the ca-ray-ziest covers ever.
King Clownape is still away. He has decided to follow Foreigner during this leg of their comeback tour. So, we have a special guest who will provide the commentary for each issue. Konga himself! Take it away!
Um...guys? Little help? Pardon me, but I seem to be stuck in the-- Hello? Giant ape behind you. Over here. Oh, for the love of!
Funny story: I find that I am often hunted by humanity. So the fact that you, a group of alien invaders, are on the verge of attacking me is, while an interesting twist on the basic giant-monster tropes, rather annoying as I am generally unconcerned by what happens to the inhabitants of this planet.
OW! OK, now you have forced my hand by making me mad. How predictable.
Another alien invasion? Fine. You know what? I'm not even going to bother trying to talk to you this time. Just don't hurt the guy on my shoulder. He's like a pet.
You see that look on my face? It's not from the pain of the laser blast. It is an expression born of the crushing ennui I now have because of all these would-be world conquerors singling me out. What, do I have a target on my back? How did I end up as the thing one must get through before taking over Earth? I mean I'm big but I'm not--
You know, what? Forget it. No per diem is worth this. I'll be in my trailer. You'll hear from my agent.