Linkity-link-link-link: The Sequel

Of all the old-school teams who could be brought back, Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters is the one I least want to see. However, this article about Palmiotti and Gray's limited series about them (the trade is out this week) has me considering a change of heart.

My favorite Onion AV Club writer, Tasha Robinson, has some suggestions for further '80s toy movies.



Speaking of the AV Club, their latest Inventory lists 12 famous living recluses including Bill Watterson and Steve Ditko.

Stay Tuned For Partial Excitement!

Here's part 2 of the episode begun in yesterday's senses-shattering post!



Check out the closing credits. The FF sure did fight a lot of really big people, didn't they?

From The "Could Be Cool" Department

DC Comics to Launch Zudacomics.com. It'll be a collection of webcomics. Here's what they've got up so far. The site won't be truly live until October and their bullet points are a little too "hip" and "down with the young folks" in tone but it's a cool idea. So, if you've got a webcomic you want to send in, get crackin'.


Speaking of webcomics, I think I'll start one based on the LOLcats feed of Noetic Concordance:

My head feels better but I am here to destroy you

Many things have conspired to keep me away from the blog lately and it looks like they will be around for the next week or so. Actual, factual content is on the way. Until then, enjoy the Fantastic Four movie that could have been:




Not only does The Watcher suck at staying out of other people's business, he sucks even more when he goes against all his people represent by trying to help out. I guess he needs more practice.

Pay special attention to:

The Testing Devices of the Dread Galactus.

Galactus attacks Ben with the Cosmic Dreidel.

Oh, snap! Galactus totally severed Johnhy's head!!

Quick thoughts on some stuff I bought

Dynamo 5 #5- Image (2007)

Another good issue. The bad guys are cool and the plot thickens. The writing and art are solid and this issue would not be a bad one to start with as long as you know that the characters are all the children of a Superman-like guy who screwed around a lot. In fact, Image does a really cool thing that I wish more comics would do. The back cover has a few words which state the premise of the book and tell you what's gonna happen in this issue. You can't judge a book by it's cover but the back cover of this one helps you out.

X-Factor #20 - Marvel (2007)



Best issue yet. I really like what Peter David has done with X-Factor. He gets the characters (especially Madrox, Siryn and Monet) and he can tell the hell out of a story. His run on this title has an excellent combination of "What cool thing can I do with this person's powers" and "What awesome story can I tell with these characters". This book nearly makes the whole House of M thing worth it. I miss Ryan Sook's art but Khoi Pham and Sandu Florea complement David's stories beautifully.

Green Lantern Corps #13 - DC (2007)



Here's another title which has turned in its best issue yet. I am a HUGE Green Lantern Corps fan and I have really enjoyed this book. Dave Gibbons has put a really cool collection of Lanterns together so they can use their various strengths to solve the Big Problem. The big problem this time involves Mogo who is one of my favorite Lanterns. His partner is a little fly dude! How awesome is that?

Sinestro Corps Special #1 - DC (2007)



This one didn't knock my socks off but it's still a really entertaining read. I'm a sucker for "mirror universe" characters. Sinestro has summoned the scariest mofos in the universe to be his new Corps. Seriously. The main criterion for membership in the Yellow Ring Brigade is the ability to instill great fear. Batman was on the list. I'm not going to pick up all of the related titles but I will follow the story because it's a lot of fun.

Faker #1 of 6 - Vertigo (2007)



This is a story about a bunch of college students who have weird stuff happen to them. The story is pretty cool but I don't like any of the main characters. This could be a problem. It's possible that they might do something with all these annoying character flaws. If they do, I'll stick with it.

Jonah Hex #21 - DC (2007)



This is one of those Jonah Hex stories where he's mostly an observer. Those can be as good as the ones where he's just shooting his way through the landscape. In the hands of Gray and Palmiotti it becomes an awesome, chilling tale of vengeance and death. And Jonah metes out bloddy justice all over the place near the end so it's all good.

Runaways #27 - Marvel (2007)



I am seriously digging Joss Whedon's run on this comic. It's fun to read and the stuff that's happening is really neat. The story has taken a turn which allows Whedon to go buck wild with the setting. This issue introduces a bunch of new characters and it sets up a storyline I can't wait to read more of.

Friday Night Fights: The Smaller They Are!

It's time for Round 3 of Friday Night Fights and once again, Noetic Concordance presents Dudes Fighting Themselves!

Well, this time it's New Atom kicking Old Atom's ass but Ray Palmer gets extra points for knocking old-school Atom straight out of the comic book! I can't see this without thinking of The Tick and his fight with Barry.

Bahlactus will never take a dive.

Jonah Freakin' Hex

There's a blog that's entirely about Jonah Freakin' Hex, man! Why have you kept this from me? I thought we were friends.

Awesome Cover Friday: Scalphunter!

Weird Western Tales is a series from the '70s which heavily featured Jonah Hex. When Jonah got his own well-deserved title most of the subsequent issues were about Scalphunter. The covers below tell you most of what you need to know about Scalphunter: He is a badass and he ends up in some freaky-wild spots.

#68

Scalphunter's comin' atcha with a shovelful of burning coal! I bet he had a totally badass catch phrase for this move: "Here's something to rem-EMBER me by, paleface!" or "Have some COKE and a smile!"

You see, because coke is a solid, carbonaceous material derived from the destructive distillation of low-ash, low-sulfur bituminous coal. Well, if you have to explain it the magic is gone.

#54



Oh, damn. Scalphunter is caught between a gunfighter and a bunch of bloodthirsty, hook-weilding, bug-eyed sailors. And he looks like he's trying to summon some psychic powers, there. That would, in fact, be the only thing which could make Scalphunter even more of a badass: Violent Telekinesis!

#53



As you can see, I saved the best for last. If a Kiowa Indian arm wrestling Abraham Lincoln is wrong I don't want to be right.

Happy Birthday, America! Weird-Ass Style!

It's Independence Day! It's also a Wednesday. Hey! You got your national holiday in my weekly feature. No, you got your feature in my holiday.

Hm... Two great tastes that taste great together.

All American Comics was published by All American Publications (which was eventually purchased by DC). It ran from the late 1930s to the late 1940s. The Green Lantern first appeared in All American as did several other superheroes who are still around today. I'm not going to talk about any of those.

I'm going to talk about my favorite old-school hero, Gary Concord, The Ultra Man!. Check out this cover from issue #8:



I love the way he appears to be accidentally vanquishing his foes. Look at his face. He has no idea what's going on. He's like a golden-age Inspector Clouseau. And what's that stuff in the background? Are they in a giant Dr. Seuss playset? Maybe it's where Zanzibar Buck Buck McFate lives.

#15



Here's another one where Gary seems to have stumbled into two-fisted justice. He's hugging that guy into submission. The dude in the lower left-hand corner is so impressed by the way Gary befriended his compatriot while, um, shooting the other one that all he can do is turn the beam of his own weapon into a salute to The Ultra Man! See? Nobody doesn't like Gary Concord.

The next two covers speak for themselves but I would like to point out the words at the bottom of each issue:

"America's Greatest Adventure and Humor Strips -- For All American Boys and Girls"

Man, they sure have a wacked-out view of the average American child. Or maybe their vision is all too accurate: "Remember to read All-American every month, kids. And then steal for me! STEAL and KILL!!!"

#6



#10

The Spirit #7 - DC (2007)

Darwyn Cooke drew the excellent cover but otherwise he took this month off. Fill-in issues are always a crapshoot but when your backup team includes Walt Simonson, Chris Sprouse and Jimmy Palmiotti you're doing something right.

This issue is divided into three stories. The first is by Simonson, Sprouse and Karl Story. It captures the feel of The Spirit in the same manner Cooke does. It features a socialite who reports the theft of a HUGE diamond. The Spirit investigates the crime in his usual manner and it's a blast to read.

Next up are Palmiotti and Jordi Bernet with my favorite story of the three. The Spirit chases a crook into an apartment building which is straight out of Batteries Not Included. As he chases the crook around, our hero inadvertently improves the lives of the residents. It's so much fun I read it twice.

Kyle Baker's story is a mess. Normally, I really like Baker's art and writing but I was turned off by both in this story. I read this one twice, too, in an attempt to figure out what was going on but it's so disjointed that I wonder if the panels were arranged in the right order.

This Summer Special was entertaining and you don't even have to know anything about The Spirit to enjoy it. If you like any of the creators mentioned above, (maybe you'll even like the Baker story) give it a look.

Marvel Adventures: Iron Man #2 - Marvel (2007)

And this one goes in my hold box. It's partly because Iron Man is one of my favorite comic-book characters ever. I'm not one of those people who thinks that Tony Stark's Civil-War/Illuminati characterization as a dickass has ZOMG! ruined the Marvel Universe forever!!!! but it has made me stop reading a character I used to look forward to seeing. As I said last month, Marvel has rebooted the character via their Marvel Adventures line and he's fun to read again.

Marvel Adventures is the anti-Ultimate Universe.

Fred Van Lente's story is simple and well told. Tony discovers that his main facility in China has shut down so he "sends Iron Man" to check it out. He finds out that (Oh, noes!) The Mandarin has stolen his workers to build nefarious devices for his eventual takeover of China.

Hell, yeah! I have loved The Mandarin ever since I read about his rings in the first Official Handbook to the Marvel Universe back in the day. This issue also has James Rhodes and Pepper Potts who mostly provide comic relief which fits well with the tone of the story.

My favorite part of this series is that the alerts that the Iron Man suit sends to Tony are superimposed on the panels. This effect looks cool, makes it feel like a neat techno-comic and allows for a different kind of storytelling.

Once again, James Cordeiro and Scott Koblish do a great job with the art. They've got a sort of Bagley-meets-Immonen vibe going which really jumps off the page.

And there's a cute Mini Marvels tale by Chris Giarruso at the end. All for the industry-mandated price of $2.99! What more could you ask for?

Barton Fink! Barton Fink!

The super-awesome Heidi Meeley sent her blog through Mingle2.com's rating machine. I did, too. Here's what I got:

That's about what I figured. I am puzzled by the examples it gave for the rating, however:

* death (5x)
* gay (2x)
* hells (1x)

OK, let's address the "gay" thing first. I'm guessing their official reason for including it is that many porn sites have a gay section. However, most of the uses I've seen of the word are PG-rated at worst. Also, this blog uses "gay" primarily because it's the last name of one of our contributors (i.e. my wife).

"Death" and "Hells"? WTF? I don't even know where to start with those. I would have figured my frequent uses of words like "fuck", "shit", and "Mark Millar" would have set off the R-rating alarms. Go figure.

Avengers Classic #1 - Marvel (2007)

First off, check out the Art Adams cover. That is an awesome picture and it brings back many fond memories of my Avengers-reading career.

Now to the actual stories inside: I was disappointed. I've read the Avengers' Origin story many times so that was nothing new to me. It's interesting as a bit of history but as an origin story it's kinda lame. Even taking into account the state of comics writing at the time which had a different tone and aesthetic from what we're used to today, the actual reason for the formation of the team barely makes sense. The Defenders' origin was far more interesting and it's hard to beat the formation of the Fantastic Four.

The most interesting part is seeing the Hulk during his pre-GRAAH days. It's a reminder that a lot of Hulk's mythology came well after the creation of the character. Also, he's dressed as a clown for a few pages. Don't ask.

Jack Kirby's art would normally be worth the price of admission to me but his style hadn't yet been refined to what we think of as "Kirby!".

The two backup stories were the real disappointments. Dwayne McDuffie attempts a toungue-in-cheek tale of how the Avengers decided who their first chairman would be. It's not entertaining and Michael Avon Oeming's art doesn't help. The Hulk picks up the conference table at one point but I had to be told what he was doing two panels later. Oeming's paintings are nice but if the reader can't figure out what's going on maybe it's time to dial back the style and put a little more substance in there.

The next story has no visual problems at all. Kevin Maguire's art is the best thing about this issue. The writing by Stan Lee is OK but nothing to shell out four bucks for. Stan, looking like a Bwah-ha-ha-era Maxwell Lord, tells us the real origin story of the Avengers. It's cute and it's better than McDuffie's story but it still isn't particularly funny.

Summary: If you're already familiar with the Avengers' origin, save your money. Andy Schmidt and Mark Beazley's decision to go with humorous stories for this first issue was a poor one. There's a bit at the end where they talk about more character-driven backups in future issues. There's a great opportunity for some excellent comic-book tales here and I will keep my eyes open for future issues. The nature of the beast makes this title hit-or-miss, though, so I won't put it in my hold box. I'm glad for the reprints and I like the added value of the backup stories but I'm going to judge this one on a case-by-case basis.

Excelsior!

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #3 of 6 - Dark Horse (2007)

This miniseries is halfway done and I can't wait to see what happens next. This issue introduces the main villain and it's all gonna be downhill from here for our big, red protagonist. This is not to say that the first two issues were all boring setup. They were awesome, action-packed setup. But what else would you expect from a Hellboy story?

Mike Mignola is writing the thing and Duncan Fegredo is drawing it. I was several pages into the first issue before I realized that Mignola wasn't doing the art. Fegredo nails the Hellboy style while throwing in a few touches of his own. A Hellboy story drawn in a radically different style would not be as effective. The art tells the story as much as the words do. More so in the case of Hellboy. The final piece of the Hellboy visual puzzle shows up in the form of Dave Stewart's distinctive colors.

So, Hellboy meets up with the minions of Baba Yaga who has agreed to lead a group of witches who really, really hate Hellboy. There are gods and nature spirits and weird mystical landscapes and all the other stuff (minus any other members of the BPRD) which makes a good Hellboy tale. If you like any of Hellboy's other incarnations, check this out. You'll be glad you did.

Speaking of checking things out, look at this page of Fegredo's "I can't believe it's not Mignola" art:

Friday Night Fights: Kang Gonna Knock You Out!

Continuing last week's theme of time travellers fighting themslves I present tonight's next bout:

Kang vs. Rama Tut!


click to embiggen

This fight is so awesome that it's tearing apart the very fabric of space and time!

In other news: All Hail Bahlactus! Sweet Christmas, it's time for round two!

Awesome Cover Friday Law-Enforcement Division

S.H.I.E.L.D. is awesome. The late-60s series Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. is double awesome! Jim Steranko's covers for the series (not to mention the groundbreaking interior work) are so awesome there is no device known to man which can accurately measure the awesomeness.

No further commentary. These images speak for themselves:

#1

#7


#4

Immortal Iron Fist #6 - Marvel (2007)

At the risk of overusing the sentence: This is what I read comics for!

This issue wraps up the first story arc which means that a trade should be right around the corner. If you haven't been reading Iron Fist up to this point wait for the trade and read it all at once. It'll be awesome. I mean it.

I have absolutely no complaints about this issue. It is a satisfying end to the arc and it sets up the next storyline in a way that has me waiting breathlessly for #7. Orson Randall (the previous Iron Fist) achieves the redemption he's looking for and that Davos jerk challenges Danny Rand to fight in a tournament.

Let me repeat that.

A tournament!

I love the way Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker have expanded the Iron Fist mythology. They're hitting all the right notes for a kickass action comic and now they've set up a freakin' tournament. This is the platonic form of action comics. If you like kung-fu, gun-fu or any other kind of fu, this is the comic for you...fu.

See below for one of the two best comics pages to come out this year. Misty's line in panel four and Luke's pose in the last panel make this page alone worth the price of the issue. David Aja is at the top of his game with this title. His action scenes and character design really make this book.

Also: Attention Zeb Wells! This is the way to write Heroes for Hire!!

Click to embiggen slightly

(Thanks to IGN.com for the scan)

Separated at Birth: End of Civilization Style

Thanks to the internet's Mike Sterling for his latest End of Civilization post. As I was reading this one I noticed a couple of familiar faces. Separated at birth? You. Be. The. Judge.

Pop-up Vader and a Sleestak




Chubby-face Thor and one of those Horde dudes from Strikeforce: Morituri.

The Eight Questions of Blazing Death

Brian Hughes tagged me with the "Eight Facts" meme. Well played, Mr. Hughes. Well played.

Here are the rules:
- Each player starts with eight random facts about themselves.
- Those who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight facts and post these rules.
- At the end of the post, choose some people to get tagged and list their names.

1. I can't ride a bicycle. Never learned.

2. I have run completely around a sovereign nation. OK, it was The Vatican but it counts. I didn't mean to do it. A friend and I turned the wrong way out of the Sistine Chapel which we realized at the same time we discovered we only had a few minutes to get back to the tour bus.

3. I married exactly the right person. Melissa (that's her name up there in the upper right-hand corner) and I have been married for 12 years and we are deliriously happy. The fact that she's a bigger geek than I am is a major contributing factor.

4. My mom has been online longer than I have. Seriously. Her blog. goes back to 2002 and she was into the chat rooms and other stuff back when I was still in college (in the very early 90s) and didn't even have email.

5. I have a 'radio voice'. I would have a 'radio job' if I had jumped into that career early. At least once a month someone says to me, "Have you ever considered being on the radio?"

6. I kinda liked the Fantastic Four sequel.

7. I created a S.H.I.E.L.D. subsidiary team called S.W.O.R.D. when I was in Jr. High. Special Weapons and Operations Reinforcement Division. You're welcome.

8. I do not own a TV. I still watch some shows via DVD and download. I mean, I'm not a communist. However, we realized that we hadn't turned the TV on in months so we (almost literally) kicked it to the curb.

Bahlactus, Heidi, and Tom, I tag thee!

Weird-Ass Cover Wednesday: Weird Style!

It's about time I featured some weird-ass covers from comics with the word "Weird" in the title. I mean I did an Awesome Cover Friday installment about Weird Wonder Tales. Why haven't I done a weird-ass collection of Adventures Into Weird Worlds covers? Why indeed.

To be honest, these covers straddle the line between weird-ass and awesome. There's some pretty cool Eisenhower-era stuff going on there. What pushes them over the edge into weird-ass territory is the little sidebars. Check 'em out:

#1

OK, I can see how a big dinosaur thing known as The Walking Death is pretty damn scary but I'm a little less terrified by "The Mad Thing" and "The Terrible Trees". It's like by the time these terrors got to the monster-name table they had run out of all the good ones. The guy right after them just got called "Lou".

Also, it's a good thing the couple on the cover didn't encounter the Running Death or even the Jogging Death because they would never have made it to that cave in time.

#2



Again, the main image is pretty scary but the title leaves something to be desired. It's nothing compared to "The Iron Door", though. That title was so lame they had to put a skull and crossbones on it to make it seem scary. Ooh! Look out! This story is so terrifying that we had to put a "poison" symbol on it. And what's going on in that little picture. Is that a guy hanging from a noose? Is he levitating? Where's the damn door?

#3



"The Thing That Waited" is a slightly lame title but I have to admit if that's what's waiting for me I'm plenty scared. I mostly wanted to post this cover because the alien looks an awful lot like another would-be world conqueror.